KING'S KONUNDRUMS is the column from Mandurah Mail journalist Andrew King.
Andrew is many things: journalist, excellent map reader, identical twin, lady killer (debatable), tea addict, inspirational leader, Louis Theroux look-a-like… but what he is most is a conundrum solver.
When life gives Andrew lemons he makes lemon brulee because he doesn't fancy lemonade.
When his girlfriend starts telling him he’s putting on the pounds because of all the lemon brulee he’s been eating he starts wearing loose clothing to compensate.
Through Andrew’s column he solves everyday problems - this is one of them.
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EASTER, engagement party, 50th birthday and Mother’s Day; these are the events I have been faced with over the past week.
I have been given a conundrum quartet.
Sure its not like the events have been sprung on me.
I’ve known my mum would be entering mid-life crisis age since I was born and Easter would have to be at least as old as my mum, wouldn't it?
But still, like always, gift ideas and planning have been left to the last minute.
However I like to think of it as if I’m Kiefer Sutherland in a season of 24.
I have 24-hours to figure out a handful of perfect gifts before the – use your imagination – hits the fan.
Easter looks to be the easiest but you can never be sure.
I've been booked in for an Easter lunch with my girlfriend’s family which could be a real minefield.
If they get me an egg and I haven’t got them anything it could look bad, if I get them something and they don’t get me anything it’s a similar result.
I will buy eggs and leave them in the car.
If they pull one out to give to me, “Oh I've left your's in the car” - crisis averted.
Next is the engagement.
In the past I've been made to feel like a fool at an engagement party.
The presents were all opened in front of the entire party on this particular occasion.
Let’s just say my $13 photo frame which I went halves in with my brother didn't look to good when the following present was a 1x1m photo frame which could hold at least 15 photos.
This time round I've left it up to my brother to buy the gift - if its rubbish at least I can blame him.
Next up is the 50th.
It’s a big birthday so it’s got to be a good gift.
Mum gave me and my brother a list of items to buy but I’m not normally one to follow a list, which may come as a surprise seeing as though laziness seems to be my strong suit as I've left buying all the presents to the last minute.
But no - I feel like a surprise is needed even if it’s rubbish.
To play it safe, one item was bought off the list, jewellery, and another, a teapot, was not.
Mother’s Day is the real curve ball; it’s just to close to mum’s birthday.
All the good ideas have already been exhausted from others at the birthday party leaving only the dregs and chocolate is out of the question because of Easter.
With time running out obvious choice is candles or a gift card - the staple thoughtless gift.
As Mothers Day is still to come I can’t say what the gift is - what it isn't is a tea cup - but it’s safe to say conundrum solved.
What do you think? Do you get a bit of gift-fatigue when holidays and birthdays start to overlap? Post your comments below.