You can't accuse Arrium of having any problem with its directors' share trading policy.
Shares fell to as low as 40¢ on Thursday in its first day of trading since its highly dilutive $754 million capital-raising at 48¢ a pop.
Caught in the crossfire was its chairman-to-be, Jerry Charles Roy Maycock, who showed up on the share register on August 29 with 250,000 shares at 76.4¢ a pop.
CBD is sure Maycock would have been congratulating outgoing chairman Peter Smedley on his excellent corporate governance in relation to this matter.
Duffed up
It's been a tough week for the boys at pokie and grocery giant Woolworths.
Woolies was dragged into the Federal Court on Wednesday by the competition watchdog, after allegedly misleading consumers about the safety of its branded goods.
On Thursday, corporate activist Stephen Mayne officially lodged his nomination for the board on an anti-pokies platform.
So much for Woolies chairman Ralph Waters and checkout chief Grant O'Brien holding a quiet little AGM in Melbourne just days before the state election.
If Waters and O'Brien need a few ales to take the edge off a bruising week, CBD could recommend a discounted brew that Woolies is trying to run off its shelves, Duff Beer.
The grocer's attempt to cash in on the fictional beer made famous by The Simpsons is coming to an end after an advertising standards body ruled the campaign was marketing alcohol to children and young adults.
Woolies liquor outlets Dan Murphy's and BWS, are running down supplies as we speak.
Duff won't entirely disappear from its shelves, though. CBD spotted a Dan Murphy's offer of Duff men's socks in a beer can for $10.75.
Keep 'em laughing
The Minister for Malcolm, Malcolm Turnbull, had them rolling in the aisles at the corporate undertakers' conference on Thursday, reminiscing about his own experiences in the area. Turnbull told attendees at the National Conference on Corporate Turnarounds and Transformation how he was retained by Westpac to restructure the Ten Network some 20 years ago during the network's last bout of financial trouble.
"And I remember Cass O'Connor, who was my right-hand person on that project and certainly the best media analyst in the country at the time, had to go in to see these gloomy directors at Westpac and some from the CBA too who owned the debt, and needless to say they were pretty downcast, this was a train wreck.
"You've all been in that situation yourselves, I guess.
"And I thought, how do I break the ice with a joke? And Cass couldn't think of anything funny about it, so I walked in and I said, 'ladies and gentlemen, there is an iron law in the television industry and it is this: you have to ensure your revenues are in excess of your expenditures.'
"I'm glad you laughed because none of them laughed. They all wrote it down. I'm not kidding, they all wrote it down.
"And there was one guy there who presumably had been to a tough primary school and had been taught to write very quickly and clearly. He wrote it down, he looked at it, he looked at it, and he said, 'this would apply in many industries.'
"I was dying, I was absolutely dying, and Cass said to me afterwards, we can never crack jokes when we are discussing insolvencies."
So we take it Turnbull was playing it straight when he referred to the fact that NBN Co chairman Ziggy Switkowski was heading today's rollout for the conference.
"In case anyone is still in doubt after those two hints, let there be no mistake: the national broadband network is the mother of all turnarounds," he says.
Kooyong classic
Political party donations may be a little on the nose at the moment, but the circus has got to feed itself some how.
So CBD's interest was piqued by a recent Liberal Party fund-raising breakfast for the member for Kooyong, Josh Frydenberg.
It does not get any more Melbourne establishment that Leonda by the Yarra, and given Ray White was the sponsor, the real estate was always going to be a priority.
Mind you, the real estate agent may have been wearing its new financial planning hat, especially after the Libs have been so generous in watering down the FOFA reforms.
The Kooyong 200 Club breakfast was attended by Liberal Party acolytes such as Tony Shepherd, and the Federal member for Farrer, Sussan Ley.
Former Victorian party president Michael Kroger, moderated the discussions on Russia, education reforms, and cutting regulation and red tape.
Got a tip? ckruger@fairfaxmedia.com.au
