Loss of a job is a complex thing to experience.
So many emotions are attached to it.
Many of us feel panic at first on a financial level, as we worry about how we will pay our rent or mortgage repayment, cover bills and put food on the table.
This survival panic is often what drives us to jump straight into job search and rush to find a replacement - to plug the hole in the boat as we feel ourselves sinking.
Even if we are successful in plugging the hole, however permanent the new seal is, we rarely miss the emotional stage of feelings of betrayal, regret, frustration, anger and even hurt that what we were doing in our previous work was not valued sufficiently to warrant the continuation of our employment.
It's a bitter pill to swallow and one that often cuts to the quick.
It's not always the panic over putting food on the table that paralyses us, that makes it hard for us to get out of bed in the morning after such an experience - it is often the emotional weight of feeling like we aren't good enough, we aren't valued enough, we aren't ... enough... that wraps itself around our middles like an anchor and keeps us abed.
It can be a hard experience to shake off.
Well-meaning friends and family offer their sympathy with platitudes like, "it's their loss" and "they didn't know what they had in you", or (my personal favourite) "you'll look back on this experience one day and realise it was the best thing that ever happened to you".
As well meaning as these offerings are, they rarely help.
Just like when facing the death of another, people don't know what to say, and that can lead to social connections dropping away as they just don't know how to respond.
Psychologist Cheryl Pepper believes that job loss is one of the "most devastating" events in a person's life and there is a real danger of a person slipping into a victim mentality that can be damaging to themselves.
Everyone responds differently, and the range of responses can be extreme, from a shoulder shrug and moderate disappointment to thoughts of self-harm.
For many of us, our jobs are key to our identity and the loss of that can impact how we perceive ourselves, or even how we know who we are.
For many of us, our jobs are key to our identity and the loss of that can impact how we perceive ourselves, our self-worth, or even how we know who we are.
Don't be afraid to connect with your GP and talk about how you are feeling.
Go through the mental health checklist with them and request the opportunity to check in with them throughout your job search journey.
This can give you someone in your corner monitoring your mental health and asking all the right questions to ensure that you can recognise when things need attention in this space.
There is no harm in asking for help and support - it is a sign of strength, not of weakness to seek it.
Job loss is often treated as a bit of a taboo, but one of the reasons for this is that we tend to try and hide it.
We attribute shame to our experience by trying to cover it up with friends and family and that can lead to internalising our emotional experience here.
The only way that we can work towards breaking down this taboo is to recognise that this experience is common, it's not always reflective of performance, and does not have to mean that you failed.
Job loss is not the end of the road, it is the beginning of a new one.
Above all, remember that we don't all start at the same place in life.
We aren't all born equal.
We don't all have equal accessibility to education, healthcare or role models.
Remember that sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we experience bad fortune.
As a community, we need to judge less and seek to understand more.
We know 2020 has been one hell of a year so far - now more than ever we need kindness, support and understanding of each other and each other's journey and we need to be able to trust in each other to show this community spirit.
Especially if we have Murder Hornets coming.
Zoë Wundenberg is a careers consultant and un/employment advocate at impressability.com.au
