A tradition, a lifestyle, a war zone – these are just some of the terms I’d use to describe football in my household.
With the most important Western Derby ever set to be played this weekend, I thought I’d give you an insight to the football-related chaos that ensues within my family every season.
"I can remember first opting to barrack for the Dockers at the age of seven, that’s when the nightmares began."
- Justin Rake
My father, my two brothers and I are all consumed by the sport, which means there’s nothing we love more than to argue about it (to which I maintain I am always right).
Most of our bickering is inspired by the fact that we all support different AFL sides.
My brothers support Melbourne and Brisbane so they’re a laughing stock, but my old man is an Eagle and I’m a die-hard Docker, which makes Derby time an extremely tense period for us.
I can remember first opting to barrack for the Dockers at the age of seven, that’s when the nightmares began.
Before choosing the purple for life, I would support a different team each week based on who won their match – it was a flawless system.
But my brothers decided I was no longer allowed to do that, and forced me to choose one side and stick with them.
That happened to occur on the week that I supported the Dockers (the previous week I was a Sydney fan – how different things might have been).
Dad shunned me from that moment onwards – I remember the disappointment in his eyes when I purchased my first ever Freo jersey.
“Oh good, we need something to wash the car with and wipe our feet on,” he taunted.
I would spend all day at school hearing about the failures of Clive Waterhouse and Scott Thornton before arriving home to have Fremantle’s lack of premierships outlined by a 40-year-old.
When Fremantle lost games, I made sure the whole street knew about my frustrations.
Mum telling me it was “just a game” did not help at all.
I can remember a 2005 Derby in which Fremantle was thumped by the dominant duo of Ben Cousins and Chris Judd, which finished as a 48-point defeat.
Boy did the Eagles’ fans (mainly my dad) let me know about that one.
But my old man took me to watch the following Derby in 2006 at Subiaco Oval, where Fremantle claimed a five-point win.
We were seated among the Eagles members, and it’s fair to say I was not gracious following our victory.
My novelty hand poked the faces of all of those hat-thieving bastards.
And of course, there’s always the memory of the demolition derby.
"Dad shunned me from that moment onwards – I remember the disappointment in his eyes when I purchased my first ever Freo jersey."
- Justin Rake
Michael Gardiner may have got a few good hits in on Matthew Pavlich, but you can’t deny that Dale Kickett was the eventual winner – oh and Freo won by a point.
But despite the pain of the early days, things got better around 2010.
And with 15 of the last 19 derbies going the Dockers’ way, I am well and truly on my high horse.
Of course, all of the Eagles fans will still pull out the “how many premierships have you got?” line on me, but the simple fact is that West Coast have not beaten Fremantle since 2012.
That’s six straight wins Eagles fans, six Derby wins in a row.
I’m also aware that they will fly at me with the “derbies don’t mean as much flags” line.
That automated response may be correct, but every time it’s used the person doing so risks the death of more brain cells.
As is tradition, my old man and I have a carton of beer on the line for the derby, and I’m quite confident that Nat Fyfe will lead the Dockers to victory.
The only downside is that I’ll probably win Carlton Cold, or even worse, Crown Lager.
My father disagrees – he thinks Josh Kennedy will kick six in an Eagles victory.
He’s also fond of informing me that Fremantle’s 2015 premiership dream is exactly that, a dream.
But it’s not his opinion that worries me, just those pesky Hawks.
